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Why My Boyfriend Won’t Take Me to One of NYC’s Best Restaurants (and Why It’s Not My Fault)
June 22nd, 2010 by plumpdumpling

Sometimes I feel bad about reviewing food when I have such a huge bias against some major dish components:

seafood (except crab that I don’t have to pull out of the shell myself)
mushrooms (except when I can’t tell what they are–like their essence in a foam(!) or tiny pieces of them concealed in a ravioli–because I don’t hate the taste but the appearance)
tomatoes (except when they’re heavily cooked)

Mostly I feel this way because Dr. Boyfriend refuses to take me to Per Se until I can not only stomach but actually enjoy all of the foods they’re going to serve me there. He’s withheld the place from me for so long now that no matter how good it is, it’ll never be as good as I’ve made it out to be.

But my best friend sent me a link today to an article on The Kitchn asking what foods people have tried to like but can’t.

And I rejoiced! It turns out that everyone hates seafood and mushrooms and tomatoes! And I love the distinction the post draws between not liking something and trying to like something but failing. No one wants to hate certain foods! My life would be a thousand times easier if I could just eat and enjoy everything. But I haven’t been able to yet, and I don’t have to feel guilty about it anymore, and Dr. Boyfriend can suck it!

(But please suck it after you’ve taken me to Per Se, Kamran. Thank you.)


26 Responses  
  • kimz writes:
    June 22nd, 201011:39 amat

    Wait a minute, do I fall in this category? I hate mushrooms and tomatoes and fishfish, but I love shellfish. Hell, I live in New England, I HAVE to love shellfish, right?

    • kimz writes:
      June 22nd, 201011:40 amat

      Oh wait, except Smoked Salmon, but that’s only because I’m jewish so I grew up putting it on my bagels. Mmmm, bagels.

      • plumpdumpling writes:
        June 23rd, 20109:48 amat

        I don’t know if you saw it on my Unapologetically Mundane Facebook page last night or not, but I totally came home from work yesterday and scooped out a bagel for a snack. I love bagels, like, 4 REAL, and the very idea of scooping them always seemed offensive to me, but now I actually get the idea of empty carbs. Gross.

        Anyway, Kamran has been on a mission for a while to get me to try smoked salmon on a bagel at one of the NYC institutions. I’m afraid.

    • plumpdumpling writes:
      June 23rd, 20109:37 amat

      FOOD TWINS! Please accompany Kamran and me to all fine dining restaurants from now on and defend me against him.

      Thx.

      • kimz writes:
        June 23rd, 20101:02 pmat

        Accompany you? HELLS YES I WILL. I am jealous of your culinary adventures. I love my boyfriend, but he eats breakfast. That’s basically it. I’m not kidding.

  • Tracey writes:
    June 22nd, 201011:44 amat

    Isn’t it so affirming to find that the foods you can’t make yourself like are also hated by so many others?

    Although, I don’t know what’s up with the guy who said he didn’t like potatoes.

    • kimz writes:
      June 22nd, 201012:15 pmat

      THERE IS SOMEONE OUT THERE WHO DOESN’T LIKE POTATOES?

      • plumpdumpling writes:
        June 23rd, 201010:07 amat

        Not anymore. That person’s house was immediately descended upon by an angry mob, and he’s no longer with us.

        • kimz writes:
          June 23rd, 20101:02 pmat

          Sounds like an appropriate punishment.

    • plumpdumpling writes:
      June 23rd, 201010:05 amat

      And yet Nik actually says that tomatoes are not only his favourite vegetable (frugetable?) but one of his favourite foods in general. Freaky.

      I know someone else who doesn’t like potatoes! That’s just dumb.

  • Kim writes:
    June 22nd, 201012:15 pmat

    Interesting link. I am appalled at how many people hate olives, which I’m pretty sure I could live off of.

    I also thoroughly enjoy all the foods on your Hate List, although I am not one of those OMG A PORTOBELLO MUSHROOM SANDWICH! girls. I hate those girls. I just like mushrooms generally speaking, raw or cooked.

    I mostly have issues with a lot of really common condiments: I hate ketchup, mayonnaise, sour cream (though disguised as an ingredient I am generally fine with it), ranch-flavored anything, syrup (although I like maple flavor, just not poured as a goo onto breakfast) and gravy (though I like marsala wine sauce, which is kind of a gravy, right?).

    Also: Cantaloupe. Rice. Deli meats other than turkey. Chicken and sausage in most forms. Raw cauliflower (it smells like vomit, people). Angel food cake (it’s STUPID). And bagels. On principle.

    I got some poor schmuck to take me to Per Se way back in early 2005 when I didn’t even know what it was/would become, I had just heard it was new and expensive. Also, he wasn’t really a schmuck, he was kind of awesome. I’m still smarting from my own idiocy, oh well.

    • plumpdumpling writes:
      June 23rd, 201011:00 amat

      OLIVES! I totally forgot about them. Like tomatoes, their taste lingers on anything they’ve touched and can completely ruin a dish for me. Sorry.

      I love all condiments, but I do hate the idea of gravy if not the actual taste of it (pan DRIPPINGS?!), and the cantaloupe thing blows my mind. I don’t actually dislike cantaloupe or honeydew, but I always eat them first in a fruit salad, because I like them least. I can’t support your sausage hate, though.

      I can’t believe you went to Per Se and didn’t even care! I hope you at least put out for this guy.

  • Bachelor Girl writes:
    June 22nd, 20101:19 pmat

    I am probably the least picky eater you’ll ever meet. People never believe me when I say, “Look, I’ll eat almost anything that most cultures consider edible.” There are only a few delicacies I’ve ever heard of that I wouldn’t even try, and they’re things that are super gross, like barbecued tarantula.

    I have no idea how I got to be this way except that I have a dad who is an incredibly adventurous eater. He did two tours of duty in Vietnam, and as he puts it, “After months of eating nothing but c-rations, when they finally turn you loose in a city with a few bucks and say, ‘Find something to eat,’ you’ll eat ANYTHING as long as it isn’t served in a foil pouch.”

    • plumpdumpling writes:
      June 23rd, 201011:26 amat

      Now, do you find picky eaters annoying? Because back when I wouldn’t try a lot of things, I thought it was totally normal not to. But as soon as I expanded what I’ll sample, I began to find people who won’t taste things really annoying. Basically, if it won’t kill you, there’s no reason not to try it.

      Except tarantula, for real.

      I assume your dad doesn’t include astronaut ice cream in the foil-wrapped foods he’s not interested in. Because that shit is delicious.

  • Alfagirl writes:
    June 22nd, 20102:10 pmat

    Hmm, I’m wondering if it’s just that he can’t actually get reservations there, even at like 5:30pm or 9:45pm on a Tuesday night, so he’s using that as an excuse? I wonder… because apparently there are still places that are merely *impossible* to get in unless you happen to be considered important by someone who considers themselves important. (i.e. Monkey Room and Waverly Inn come to mind) — damn you Graydon Carter!

    • plumpdumpling writes:
      June 22nd, 20102:56 pmat

      That’s totally true! I looked on OpenTable for a reservation a while back just to see, and it’s solidly booked for 8 weeks in advance! And they don’t take walk-ins! If Kamran ever decides he loves me, he’s gonna have to plan ahead.

  • Alfagirl writes:
    June 22nd, 20102:12 pmat

    I meant Monkey Bar

    • plumpdumpling writes:
      June 22nd, 20102:56 pmat

      Luckily, I have absolutely no interest in going there. Hmph.

  • Nastassia writes:
    June 22nd, 20109:00 pmat

    Wow crazy…I recently TRIED to like Melons and FAILED. I got a free fruit cup and I always felt stupid for absolutely LOATHING Melons and Cantaloupes…so I forced myself to eat it…and I nearly choked on them. GROSS!
    I also can’t stand: Watermelon, Mushrooms, Ketchup, Mangos, and Seafood among other things.
    But i do LOVE Beets and raw Broccoli, so that’s gotta count for something.

    • plumpdumpling writes:
      June 23rd, 201011:44 amat

      Yeah, I always tell myself that it’s okay for me to not like seafood because I eat a lot of things that other people hate (like beets!). I’m now going to use you as my excuse when Kamran gives me a hard time for not liking something:

      “Oh, yeah? Well, Nastassia doesn’t like WATERMELON! Now who’s the crazy one?”

      • kimz writes:
        June 23rd, 20101:04 pmat

        Oh I can totally take that a step further. Not only do I despite Cantaloupe and Honeydew, but if it’s touched any other fruit (ie fruit salad), I will not even touch it. Nope, no way. The juices rub off and each other and the good fruit is then ruined. RUINED!

  • Tessa writes:
    July 5th, 20109:59 pmat

    I’m probably the least picky vegan you’ve ever met, but not even I will touch olives with a ten foot pole.

    No, that’s a lie, I’d touch them. I just wouldn’t eat them.

  • TheDegustationAsian writes:
    August 22nd, 201012:08 pmat

    FYI, you can tell your boyfriend that both The French Laundry and Per Se will gladly accommodate your eating preferences, so there’s little excuse to delay reservations at, in my opinion, the best restaurant in New York City.

    • plumpdumpling writes:
      August 25th, 20104:34 pmat

      He’s pretty mad at you, as a fellow law-type, for letting me in on this little secret. He was so pleased that I’m so gung-ho for Per Se that I was going to try oysters and other freakiness of nature. But now I’m going to ask them to make pizza for me.

      • TheDegustationAsian writes:
        August 25th, 201011:25 pmat

        Haha, wasn’t trying to anger your bf. I wouldn’t say they’d go so far as to make pizza for you, but if you don’t care for particular ingredients they will do their best make substitutions.

        As for oysters, you really should try their signature “oysters and pearls,” but then again, there were hardly any misses during my two visits.

  • “American Idol” is the Only Drama Left in My Life — Unapologetically Mundane writes:
    March 1st, 201112:02 pmat

    […] going to the 3-Michelin-starred restaurant Kamran swore he wouldn’t take me to until I agreed to eat their signature oysters-and-caviar dish (and I did! (and liked […]


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