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Empire Plates of Mine
Aug 20th, 2013 by donuts4dinner

I was already way, way too proud about NYC’s food culture, and then someone went and made an “Empire States of Mind” parody about it, “Empire Plates of Mine”:


(via Ramblings and Gamblings, via Midtown Lunch)

sampling all the food from the whole world
there’s nothing you can’t eat
Peruvian, Greek, Thai, and Guyanese,
baba ghanoush, and headcheese

You guys, I was supposed to live a life of McDonald’s and Olive Garden in Ohio. And here I am, eating Persian food on Saturday night, eating Portuguese food on Sunday morning, eating Vietnamese food on Sunday night, eating Indian food on Monday afternoon, and eating Cuban food on Monday night. My heart explodes from how lucky I feel to live here and have access to all of this.

BACON EXPLOSION!!
Nov 9th, 2011 by donuts4dinner

WARNING: If you don’t like appalling displays of meatiness, you’ll want to stop here. Otherwise, strap on your drooling bib and get ready to catch the drips.

Profiled by The New York Times and reviled by lovers of heart health everywhere, the Bacon Explosion is one part bacon, one part sausage, and all parts belly-busting. My co-worker Adam has been talking about it basically since the day he started at our company years ago; in fact, he probably mentioned his desire to concoct one and bring it into the office to share in order to get hired.

In the throngs of grilling season, he finally made good on his word and brought us two ludicrous four-pound logs of meat, all covered in Sweet Baby Ray’s best BBQ sauce. It was crumbled bacon wrapped in sausage latticed in bacon, and the sound of our “mmm”-ing and “ohmygod”-ing in the lunchroom was deafening.

Bacon Explosion

The myth. The legend. The meat.

Bacon Explosion

The man of the hour. He’s a low-carb dieter, so this was actually not too off-plan for him. Well, except for the 5000 calories and 500 grams of fat the Times accords it.

Bacon Explosion

It was sausagey and

Bacon Explosion

bacony at the same time

Bacon Explosion

and can really only be described with one word, used with its true meaning in mind:

Bacon Explosion

AWESOME.

It was awash in sweetness and spiciness, chewiness and crispiness, meatiness and meatiness. It wasn’t what you’d call a balanced dish; there was nothing to cut the fat, as they say, nothing bright nor fresh about it. It was pure richness, and when combined with Popeye’s biscuits, it was like a holy trinity.

Bacon Explosion

We all took the biggest slice we felt comfortable keeping our other co-workers from, thinking we’d come back later for seconds and thirds, but most of us pooped out even before the first round was over. This thing was filling. For mind, body, and soul.

Naut Too Shabby
Aug 3rd, 2011 by plumpdumpling

Thanks to the badass Brooklynauts for featuring my photo of their craaaaazy-delicious pretzel-breaded hot dog on their site this week!

Great Hot Dog Cookoff 2011

Check out their site for reviews of more beer than you ever knew existed, crushing ice cream defeats (and victories!), and plenty of meatball/testicle jokes! (Okay, like one joke. But still.)

Pi Day 2011!
Mar 15th, 2011 by plumpdumpling

This is how my co-workers and I celebrated Pi Day yesterday:

Pi Day 2011 with McDonald's Apple Pie and Sundaes

I lured everyone to the kitchen with promises of “gourmet apple pie” and “artisan ice cream”. I secretly don’t think anyone was disappointed.

Dirty Quesadilla
Jan 4th, 2011 by plumpdumpling

I have basically a nonstop craving for the Quesadilla Enorme from Baby Bo’s Cantina in Murray Hill. There’s always a crazy wait to get into the place, so discovering that they deliver to my boyfriend’s apartment is the best/worst thing to happen to my midsection in a long time.

The Quesadilla Enorme is a giant tortilla splayed out and covered in cheese, potatoes, a dark rich BBQ sauce, and your choice of protein, covered with another tortilla, grilled until the edges get perfectly crisp, topped with dollops of guacamole, creamy chipotle sauce, jalapenos, and sour cream, and served with chips and salsa OMG.

I always order the pork version, but I’m preeeeeetty sure the kitchen staff had something else on their minds last time I got it:

Porn Quesadilla

The Pop-Tart Ice Cream Sandwich
Aug 31st, 2010 by plumpdumpling

In honor of the opening of Pop-Tarts World–mass market pastry retail heaven for those of us who were under the impression that only four or five flavors of Pop-Tarts existed–in Times Square this month, my officemates and I decided to make the mythical Pop-Tart Ice Cream Sandwich.

Thanks to Fresh Direct, we had the followed delivered to our office last Friday morning:

• Frosted Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tarts
• Frosted Strawberry with Sprinkles Pop-Tarts
• Edy’s Grand Vanilla Bean ice cream
• Edy’s Grand Chocolate ice cream
• Edy’s Cookies ‘N Cream ice cream
• Edy’s Grand Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream
• Edy’s Slow-Churned French Silk ice cream (possibly my favourite storeice cream in the world)
• Ben & Jerry’s Karamel Sutra ice cream

And with those ingredients, we made these:


strawberry with vanilla ice cream


brown sugar cinnamon with French Silk ice cream

The impending glee was too much for Chantee to handle,

but our notoriously non-gluttonous German interns Sven and Christoph surprisingly dove right in:

And speaking of diving right in, if you accidentally drop Pop-Tart down your bra, expect this from me:

Rating One StarOne StarOne StarOne StarOne Star

This is one of those instances where once you have it, you can’t not have it. Like mixing heavy cream into iced coffee, spooning jelly into the center of a zeppole, or deep-frying a Snickers bar, I will forever be disappointed when there’s not a Pop-Tart in my dish of ice cream. The synthetic sugariness of it appeals so much to the truly indulgent part of me, and the lack of utensils needed to eat it appeals to my raised-in-a-barn-ness.

Recipe: Low-Carb Hostess Chocolate Cupcakes
Aug 4th, 2010 by plumpdumpling

I was in Ohio last weekend and spent much of it with my best friend, who–like me–finds lots of excuses to “cheat” on her low-carb diet. Meaning that whenever I’m in town, we go crazy and eat whatever we want, which is everything from Dairy Queen to Pizza Hut to McDonald’s with a couple of local joints thrown in as long as they’re all as unhealthy as possible. We’ve said 100 times in the past year that we’d love to try “being good” one time when I come home for a visit, but this time we actually meant it.

As luck would have it, the lovely Maria Emmerich posted a recipe for a low-carb version of the famed Hostess Little Debbie Chocolate Cupcake in her blog the very day I came home, and you know we went to town on those things. Here’s our take on her recipe:

Cupcakes:
1/2 cup of blanched almond flour
3 eggs, separated
1/4 teaspoon of iodized sea salt
1/4 teaspoon of baking soda
1 teaspoon of vanilla
2 tablespoons of cocoa powder
1/2 cup of Splenda
4 tablespoons of melted butter

Whip the egg whites until stiff peaks form. Combine the yolks, sweetener, and butter and whisk until well-blended. Combine all of the dry ingredients and blend well. Gently fold the wet ingredients into the whipped whites, then slowly fold in the dry mixture and blend well. Fill the cupcake pan 3/4 of the way full. Bake for 15-18 minutes at 350 degrees F or until a toothpick comes out clean.

Creamy Filling:
1 cup heavy cream
1/4 cup Splenda

Whip the cream until light and fluffy and add in the sweetener. Place filling in sandwich baggie with one corner snipped off. Scoop a dime-sized hole out of the top of each cupcake, push the snipped corner of the baggie into the hole, and squeeze until the filling rises to the top of the cupcake. (Maria injected hers into side of the cupcakes, so feel free to try both ways and see which gets more filling in.)

Frosting:
50g low-carb chocolate (we used a Lindt 85% Cocoa Bar, but Maria’s, made with a ChocoPerfection bar, turned out much shinier, like the Hostess version)
1 tablespoon heavy cream

Melt the chocolate bar in 10-second intervals in the microwave and add in whipping cream. Once the cupcake is cooled, dip the top of each one in melted chocolate.

Swirly White Topping:
Cream cheese

Add a small amount of cream cheese to another baggie, cut another tiny piece of the corner off, and swirl it onto each cupcake.

Nutritional Info:
297 calories, 6g carbs, 3.5g fiber, 2.5g net carbs
Makes 6 cakes


a cross-sectional view shows how much creamy filling was waiting inside for us


a cup of heavy cream makes a LOT of creamy filling, and you can guess where all of the leftovers went

Rating One StarOne StarOne StarOne StarOne-Half Star

Tracey and I loved these. A lot of low-carb swaps for common sugary foods are sad approximations that leave you wishing for the real thing, but we didn’t feel a sense of loss while eating these at all. The only problem we had was convincing ourselves not to eat all six in one sitting, and we were rewarded for that the next day with a deliciously hardened chocolate top on the two we saved. If you can double the recipe, I recommend it.

(Cross-posted to UNBREADED)

Scarfing Down a Triple Double Down
May 13th, 2010 by plumpdumpling

Welcome to my entirely-KFC-Double-Down-related blog!

No, I’m kidding, but my friend Mike sent me this video of him eating three Double Downs stacked on top of one another, and how could I not share it?

The worst part for me isn’t, as you might expect, the way the chicken parts sort of slop around on top of each other and threaten to shoot that middle Double Down across the room at high speeds to be eaten by their pet bunny. No, it’s the way the second grilled Double Down pulls away from the wrapper, leaving behind all of this glorious Wrapper Cheese, and then he just wads up the paper and tosses it aside. Painful to watch.

I’m in full Double Down crave mode right now. WHY DID YOU HAVE TO CLOSE DOWN, KFC NEAR MY OFFICE?!

Sexy Potatoes
Apr 1st, 2010 by plumpdumpling

I was picking up some salads from the Midtown East neighborhood gem Boi Sandwich yesterday, looking around the restaurant so the guy making my food didn’t feel like I was eagle-eying him to make sure he gave me enough pork, when I noticed a bag of chips that I must have noticed a million times before.

And yet this time, when I looked at the logo on the bag, all I could see were potatoes wearing loose condoms:

I tried to unsee it. I mean, it’s clearly potatoes with their ends sliced off, right? Where the first slice is the tip?

And yet. Condoms.

I’m a Foodbuzz Top 9!
Jan 15th, 2010 by plumpdumpling

I’m one of Foodbuzz’s Top 9 today! Thanks to my wd-50 review from yesterday and the apparently half-decent photo I took of the chocolate hazelnut tart. I’m totally surprised, flattered, and ecstatic.

Check out the photo and the strangely thrilling comment I got on it from one of my favourite faux-vintage clothing sites. I guess it just goes to show that everyone likes looking at food.

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