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Why My Boyfriend Won’t Take Me to One of NYC’s Best Restaurants (and Why It’s Not My Fault)
Jun 22nd, 2010 by plumpdumpling

Sometimes I feel bad about reviewing food when I have such a huge bias against some major dish components:

seafood (except crab that I don’t have to pull out of the shell myself)
mushrooms (except when I can’t tell what they are–like their essence in a foam(!) or tiny pieces of them concealed in a ravioli–because I don’t hate the taste but the appearance)
tomatoes (except when they’re heavily cooked)

Mostly I feel this way because Dr. Boyfriend refuses to take me to Per Se until I can not only stomach but actually enjoy all of the foods they’re going to serve me there. He’s withheld the place from me for so long now that no matter how good it is, it’ll never be as good as I’ve made it out to be.

But my best friend sent me a link today to an article on The Kitchn asking what foods people have tried to like but can’t.

And I rejoiced! It turns out that everyone hates seafood and mushrooms and tomatoes! And I love the distinction the post draws between not liking something and trying to like something but failing. No one wants to hate certain foods! My life would be a thousand times easier if I could just eat and enjoy everything. But I haven’t been able to yet, and I don’t have to feel guilty about it anymore, and Dr. Boyfriend can suck it!

(But please suck it after you’ve taken me to Per Se, Kamran. Thank you.)

It LIVES IN ITS POOP, People
Feb 10th, 2010 by plumpdumpling

My friend Steve introduced me to the extremely weird and unexplainably funny webcomic F Minus by Tony Carrillo recently, and this one entirely sums up my feelings about seafood:

You don’t even want to know what my last meal would be.

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