pure carbs

Domino’s Breadbowl Pastas Unexpectedly Gross Me Out

As someone who desperately, desperately loves carbs, I’ve been known to crave bowls made of bread in the past. Only as someone who doesn’t necessarily consider soup a real food–even the super-creamy ones aren’t solid enough for me until they’re laden with an entire sleeve of saltine crackers–I don’t necessarily go for the requisite broccoli cheddar soup in a breadbowl that everyone wants to serve me. In fact, one of my finest weird-look-getting exploits of recent history involved me asking a cashier at Panera if she could fill my bowl o’ bread with chicken salad instead, while my best friend lovingly took photos.

So the dawn of Domino’s Breadbowl Pastas should incite a fiery joyful hunger deep inside me:

What could be better than refined white flour macaroni and cheese BAKED INTO a bowl ALSO MADE OF refined white flour? I’ll tell you what: following it up with some breadsticks covered in sugar!

Even a carbfreak like me gets physically ill watching the commercials where people rip off sections of their bowl and dip it into their pasta sauce. I’m the same person who was so disappointed to move to New York City and find out that all of the pizza crust here is floppy and thin instead of thick and bready like it is back home, but the portion of the ad where they show the ring of dough expanding 400% in the oven just seems ridiculous.

Appropriately, the nutrition information for the bowls seems to be suspiciously missing from the Domino’s website.

9 Comments

    • plumpdumpling

      Yes! You are so awesome. And so are blogs!, because I was thinking the breadbowl incident happened right before I left for NYC until I relived it. But I guess it would’ve been in the Best Week Ever scrapbook, then, huh?

      It’s so sad to have posts about how great it is to have me in town, though. BEST FRIENDS ARE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER.

  • Noel

    Now I am confused by your description of central Ohio pizza dough as “thick and bready.” My experience with central Ohio pizza during the two years that I lived in the Columbus area was that the dough was horribly thin and crispy, much to my chagrin. Maybe you know a secret I don’t? If you do, please share so I can stop dreading pizza when we go visit my in-laws!

    • plumpdumpling

      Perhaps you were eating Donatos, which is fairly local and is super-crunchy. Most of the others, though, have an incredible bread-to-toppings ratio.

      I highly recommend Adriatico’s (which bills itself as New York style pizza but totally is not), Hound Dog’s, and Gumby’s (although the Pokey Stix are the real reason to go there).

    • plumpdumpling

      And yet, at the end of a month of living carb-free in order to fit into bridesmaid’s dresses and such, I can see myself accidentally eating this and regretting it hardcore ten seconds afterward.

  • natalie

    that is foul. seriously. dominos wouldn’t know what pizza was it if hit them in the face. and pizza bowls? surely they jest. how VILE. you have ruined my appetite. hahahahahah.

    i still want me some ‘hot and crusty’, though.