food porn,  i am a country bumpkin

Oh, maybe this is why I gained five pounds over Thanksgiving.

In the wake of Eating the Road‘s unapologetically gluttonous fast food romp, the Big McSausage Egg Surf & Turf Mac, I feel confident that the Internet can handle my own Tower of Gorge:


click here for the full size, which is really, really enjoyable for a second until you think about it and puke

That’s two McDonald’s cheeseburgers, an everything bagel with garden vegetable cream cheese from Tim Horton’s, and a Pizza Hut personal pan pizza, topped off with extra pickles. The pumpkin pie milkshake that I followed it up with isn’t pictured but was heartily enjoyed. My total caloric intake for that meal alone and not including the Cheesecake Factory or Dairy Queen I no doubt had for dinner that night?

1631. And that’s based on the nutrition facts supplied by the various restaurants’ websites, which you know are severely underestimated.

You can’t really blame me, though. If NYC had more of the chain restaurants I love, I wouldn’t have to get all spastic every time I go home to Ohio for Thanksgiving. And Christmas. And the 4th of July. And my dad’s birthday. And my own birthday. And several random weekends throughout the year when I pretend to want to see my family and friends but really just want easy access to a Taco Bell.

I did just gulp a huge glass of water after writing this out of guilt, though, if that makes you feel any better.

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