My First Gingerbread House (that I didn’t in any way construct)
March 3rd, 2010 by plumpdumpling

Right before I left for Christmas break, my boyfriend and I watched a Food Network show about a company known for its pre-decorated gingerbread houses, and all we could talk about was how badly we wanted to rip the roof off of one of those things and go to town on it with our teeth.

Well, while we were in an-unnamed-discount-store-that’s-taking-over-the-world in December, my best friend, Tracey, and I spotted shelves loaded with gingerbread house kits for only $10 and decided to go for it, not only to make my boyfriend jealous but as an added benefit.

We imagined how hard it’d be to attach the roof to the sides, to keep ourselves from crushing the soft gingerbread underneath the weight of our decorations. What we didn’t find out until we got back to Tracey’s house and took the thing out of the box was that it was preassembled and hard as a rock. But hey, we’re lazy.

Can you imagine how great it is having the job of putting this thing together? Whoever it is obviously doesn’t have to be concerned with neatness, and I fantasize daily about slopping icing onto giant cookies.

The house came packaged with icing mix, hard candy balls, and spearmint leaves. Tracey added the orange slices because we’re gluttons.

Here’s Tracey making a wreath on the front of the house with the bowl of icing beside her. Mixing the icing powder into water was literally the only thing we had to do before we started decorating. You’ll note the giant K on the side of the roof, which I put there, because I’m narcissistic and also uncreative.

The finished product, with Tracey’s Christmas tree in the background to prove that we actually did do this in December and not just last week. Unless Tracey kept her Christmas tree up until March just in case we ever found a gingerbread house kit on super-clearance, which is quite possible.

Beauty shot! You’ll note the fine reindeer-covered fleece blanket Tracey held up as a backdrop for me.

Tracey posed for this picture in which she was pretending to go at the house with a spoon before we figured out that it required a hammer to actually break through any of the gingerbread.

Hard as it was, though, that shit was 4 realz delicious.

5 Responses  
  • Heesa Phadie writes:
    March 3rd, 20103:57 pmat

    Oh man…I love making those. So much fun. Yours are pretty tidy compared to how mine normally turn out. I usually have the whole thing covered in candy so as to disguise any flaws :P

    My favorite part is after the holidays pretending to be a big abominable snowman and crushing them to bits…then tossing them into the sink and mashing it down the garbage disposal.

  • Tracey writes:
    March 3rd, 20109:11 pmat

    This makes me long for Christmas! Even if I am sick of the cold!

  • Jack writes:
    March 4th, 20103:02 pmat

    Umm .. where are the windows? Isn’t that a building violation???

  • Bachelor Girl writes:
    March 5th, 20101:46 pmat

    This is fantastic…who knew you and Tracey were such talented exterior decorators/landscapers?

    Tell me you ate every last crumb plus all the icing.

  • Dishy the reindeer writes:
    December 14th, 20112:30 pmat

    LOVE it!! Tracey is so creative – the little wreath she concocted is darling. And of course I appreciate the K – though we both know that C is the best letter.


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