Enjoying a Diet Coke After a Meal Does Not Make Me Lowbrow
May 17th, 2010 by plumpdumpling

My boyfriend and I had just finished a 3-hour, 9-course meal at Seäsonal. He had ordered a coffee, and I had ordered a Diet Coke, and our food was quietly digesting as we discussed what I should do with my life.

The table next to us, which was approximately six inches from ours in true NYC fashion, had been mostly well-behaved all night. Two of the four people seemed to be dating, and the guy had brought along a British friend who was new to the city, so the girl had brought along a friend for him. One of the girls had graduated from culinary school, but she wasn’t being obnoxious about it. They seemed like not-horrible human beings.

But then two more friends arrived. The girl had a Latina-Jersey accent, and though I originally thought she was dating the guy she came with, she was soon working all of the men at the table. The guy was just generally loud and annoyingly thought it was appropriate for him to go over the success of their dinner’s wine pairings with their waiter. The final decision: not successful.

I could deal with all of that, though. What I couldn’t deal with was the way he then started in on the girls at the table for drinking coffee with their desserts. He chided them for not being as sophisticated as he was with his red wine, and then he added, “But the worst is people who drink Coke at nice restaurants. This isn’t McDonald’s.

Naturally I took a sip of my drink at that moment and said, “Mmm, this Diet Coke is delicious,” but he didn’t pay any attention.

12 Responses  
  • Heesa Phadie writes:
    May 17th, 201012:19 pmat

    Haha…I love it! I’m an Diet Coke fanatic too…and I would have done the exact same thing. You get ’em girl.

    • plumpdumpling writes:
      May 17th, 20106:33 pmat

      I should’ve thrown it in his face, actually.

      But I am a lady.

  • Sandy writes:
    May 17th, 201012:22 pmat

    I don’t eat at nice restaurants, but I also have a permanent Diet Coke IV bag, so I wonder what they’d make of me. Actually, I already know.

    • plumpdumpling writes:
      May 17th, 20106:39 pmat

      What’s the animated movie where all of the people live in their flying chairs and have permanent access to soda and end up unable to walk? WALL-E? That’s totally what I’m picturing here.

      I can’t wait for the future.

  • Ells writes:
    May 17th, 20102:05 pmat

    Jesus. You should have also complained loudly that they didn’t serve you ketchup with your steak.

    • plumpdumpling writes:
      May 17th, 20106:43 pmat

      No, they served LIME MARMALADE with my steak. Freaky.

      But seriously, I could drink A-1 instead of water.

  • thickcrust writes:
    May 17th, 20103:38 pmat

    But you aren’t denying that you ARE low brow, are you?

    • plumpdumpling writes:
      May 17th, 20106:53 pmat

      I’m still wooed by your love of White Castle, yes.

  • Bachelor Girl writes:
    May 17th, 20104:42 pmat


    You know how I feel about my Diet Coke. I probably would’ve come across the table like the redneck I am.

    • plumpdumpling writes:
      May 17th, 20106:54 pmat

      I would’ve thought you were just being funny before, but now that I’ve read your Web Mistress’ birthday tribute to you, I fully believe it and am glad to have you in my corner.

  • Kim writes:
    May 18th, 20109:50 amat

    Wait, you mean this guy was drinking red wine WITH his dessert? Sheesh. Fatty. You keep up the wine OR have dessert.

    Anyway, I approve. Drink that Diet Coke. Blow bubbles with the straw even. Okay, don’t do that. You know what’s SUPER classy? The only soda I like (besides club) is … ORANGE CRUSH.

    • plumpdumpling writes:
      May 25th, 20105:18 pmat

      Okay, Crush is awesome. Also, we’re going to The Mark this weekend, which is that new Jean-Georges place with the ladies wearing vintage Halston, and they do homemade sodas there. So clearly sodas are totally classy now, and that fatty can suck it.

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