• i am a country bumpkin

    Rub Your Nose on Me and Give Me Your Flu

    On one hand, I hope the bacon craze stays alive and kickin’ for years to come. From thick slices in my salads to tiny chunks in my candy bars to the bacon t-shirt, what used to be regarded as fodder for only fatties is now everyone’s favourite food. Thanks to the recent issue of New York magazine with a cover story about the swine flu that contained this photo pigs have been on my mind a lot lately. I was raised on a farm full of them, grew up watching my dad castrate them, and took them to the county fair every year with my 4-H club. My boyfriend argues…

  • i am a country bumpkin

    Schooled! on Restaurant Name Pronunciations

    Ways in which I have been embarrassed by reservationists when calling restaurants: Daniel Reservationist: Thank you for calling dan-YELL. Me: dan-YELL? That’s hilarious; I’ve been pronouncing it in my head as DAN-yule all this time. Reservationist: [clears throat] Degustation Reservationist: Good afternoon. How may I help you? Me: Do you have any reservations for two for tomorrow evening available? Reservationist: At which restaurant? Me: Day-gus-TAY-shun. Reservationist: All I have is a 6 p.m. tomorrow. Me: I’ll take it. [gives name and telephone number] Reservationist: You’re confirmed for tomorrow night at 6 for two people at day-gus-TAH-see-OWN Me: . . . thanks. GOD. And it’s not like I don’t know that…