Look Hotter and Get a Better Table
October 1st, 2010 by plumpdumpling

I saw a great Q&A on today entitled “Too Frumpy for the Good Seats?” in which a woman asked if she and her friend were relegated to the old people’s section of a restaurant’s dining room because she wasn’t dressed like a tramp.

This is something I wonder to myself allllllllllllll of the time, because while my boyfriend always pairs snazzy blazers with cute t-shirts and sweater vests and looks better than anyone else everywhere we go, you’ll never see me in a cocktail dress and stilettos. I would hope I still look nice, but my style trends more toward granny-in-pearls than hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold.

So when we got seated in no man’s land at Fig & Olive, for instance, I had to wonder if it was because they were keeping their more drunk, less taking-photos-of-their-food patrons in the front where the expansive windows were. And now I know I was right.

The only time I think I’ve ever asked to be moved was when they tried to seat my friend and me directly in front of the kitchen doorway at Serendipity 3, and even then, I barely cared. If I have a specific seat in mind, I’ll always note it in my OpenTable reservation, or I’ll just put something general like, “It’s my birthday, and I don’t want anyone watching as I consume an entire ice cream cake by myself, so please seat us somewhere private!”

I’ll tell you what, though–I feel pret-ty hot now about the fact that Nougatine put us right in front of their big windows facing Central Park the other night.

7 Responses  
  • Heesa Phadie writes:
    October 1st, 20103:07 pmat

    Haha…do you really put that? “It’s my birthday, and I don’t want anyone watching as I consume an entire ice cream cake by myself, so please seat us somewhere private!”

    That’s awesome. Apparently I now know why I’m so often relegated to the table adjacent the restroom door.

    • plumpdumpling writes:
      October 1st, 20104:36 pmat

      It could’ve been something more like, “Please put me near the restrooms, because I’m lactose intolerant but still plan to eat an entire ice cream cake by myself.”

      We should really learn to slut it up for better tables.

  • Cristy writes:
    October 1st, 20103:26 pmat

    Wow. Doesn’t surprise me, but still pretty snarky of them.

    • plumpdumpling writes:
      October 1st, 20104:37 pmat

      I’d be the worst host, ’cause I’d totally put all of the nice dorks in the front and stick the hoochies in the back.

      And then I’d be quickly fired.

  • Bachelor Girl writes:
    October 1st, 20105:04 pmat

    You know how I am. I’ll bitch a blue streak if a host tries to seat me at a shitty table.

    • plumpdumpling writes:
      October 1st, 20105:55 pmat

      Once again, it’s just a matter of me not even thinking to ask. If I happen to remember to ask for a booth, it’s a miracle. I just assume that you always get the best seat in the house based on what’s available, which is obviously idiotic, especially here, where some celebrity could walk in at any time and spew all sorts of hate on Twitter if she doesn’t get the right table.

      • Tracey writes:
        October 5th, 20109:20 pmat

        I ask for booths as much as possible, but I’m totally apologetic about it, always asking “Do you have any booths available” when I can CLEARLY see millions of them open.

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