• pure carbs

    “Top Chef: Just Desserts”

    “Variety” is reporting that a new “Top Chef” spinoff called “Just Desserts” is casting this week. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS? • No more chefs complaining that they “don’t do desserts”. • No more effing scallops in every. single. appetizer. • No more chefs choosing to serve a three-course menu without a single dessert in sight because they don’t want to screw it up and get sent home. • No more Padma saying that everything is too sweet, because you know they’ll actually get some judges who aren’t afraid of contracting the sugarbetes. • No more chefs coming with one practiced dessert up their sleeves that they continue to…

  • flatiron,  french,  pure carbs

    The City Bakery’s Pretzel Croissant Ain’t No Pretzel

    I didn’t love the pretzel croissant. It has its own website. People who care about food gush about it. But I was unimpressed. It was flaky, buttery, light, and bread-flavoured, which are all of the things a croissant should be. So maybe the problem is that I like pretzels much more than I like croissants, and this was no pretzel. There was no thick pretzel skin, no dense pretzel insides, and no salt in sight, let alone the chunks of crystals I want to see. But it was a good croissant, and I was still finding butter flavor trapped in between my fingers for hours after eating it. Don’t ask…

  • pure carbs,  restaurant reviews,  sweets,  union square

    Max Brenner Does the Ice Cream Sandwich

    I know there are a lot of Max Brenner haters out there. I agree that their menu full of quotes from some bald dude likening eating chocolate to lovemaking is pretty laughable (and sorta gross before dinner), and I agree that waiting in line for an hour with all of the tourists sucks when you feel like you should be entitled to special treatment as someone who pays $2,000 in rent to actually live in the city. But I still crave it. My friend Beth and I ate at the one in Union Square a few weeks ago and were full enough from our large dinner portions that we were…

  • midtown west,  pure carbs,  sweets

    Magnolia Bakery Whoopi Cookies

    At dinner on Thursday night, my dear boyfriend got incredibly sick. Now, I was fairly suspicious that it was just his attempt at keeping me from making any plans with friends for the weekend out of guilt and empathy so we could hole up in his apartment together, but I expressed a workable amount of pity, anyway. He came home from work on Friday night with a soup container and a bag that he said was full of crackers, so I accepted that his sickness meant I was going to have to forage for my own dinner and went about my business. We made smalltalk about our days, and then…

  • food porn,  pure carbs

    A Man and His Marzipan Piggy

    At the same old-timey German deli where Dr. Boyfriend and I found the fish balls, we also found the sweetest little marzipan pig: The two of them were fast friends and couldn’t be separated for approximately three hours. And then we bit his head off. Wikipedia claims that marzipan is from Iran, but my Persian boyfriend had never tasted it. I myself have only had it a few times in my life, because I don’t really understand it. I mean, almond flavor is fine and everything, but I’m American, and I demand that all of my desserts involve chocolate and peanut butter.

  • pure carbs

    Domino’s Breadbowl Pastas Unexpectedly Gross Me Out

    As someone who desperately, desperately loves carbs, I’ve been known to crave bowls made of bread in the past. Only as someone who doesn’t necessarily consider soup a real food–even the super-creamy ones aren’t solid enough for me until they’re laden with an entire sleeve of saltine crackers–I don’t necessarily go for the requisite broccoli cheddar soup in a breadbowl that everyone wants to serve me. In fact, one of my finest weird-look-getting exploits of recent history involved me asking a cashier at Panera if she could fill my bowl o’ bread with chicken salad instead, while my best friend lovingly took photos. So the dawn of Domino’s Breadbowl Pastas…